The Shape of Things to Come by Lettice Randall

 I don’t really care the shape I’m in

I don’t really care that my hair is thin

I’ve got wrinkles on my face. Is that a crime?

It just means I’ve been here for a long, long time.

I could get a face lift and have a boob job done

But I don’t think that sounds like a lot of fun!

And if I had that face lift, I think all you’d see

Is the only one I’m fooling is most likely me!

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POPSICLES, BEER AND BREAD CRUST! by Lettice Randall

When I really take the time to sit and think about my father, one thing that comes to mind about him is that he never, ever, raised his voice at me even if I probably deserved it. My mom was more the disciplinarian and Dad was the one who thought up the fun things to do. He taught me how to fish in the little brook near our home, and he even had me baiting my own hook at a very early age. And while Mom was more the academic, Dad is the one who encouraged me to tell stories about things we’d see or talk about. These subjects ranged from the deer we’d see in the woods near our home, to the tree fort we were planning to build.

Another image that comes up when I think of my dad is orange popsicles and beer! Sounds like a strange combination, I know. But Continue reading

THE YOLKS ON YOU by Lettice Randall

Charlie and I will soon be celebrating our 48th anniversary. And they said it wouldn’t last! No, really they did! Charlie was two months away from his 19th birthday and I had just turned 19, nine days earlier. Does that make me the “older woman?” I’ll have to say this, it wasn’t always easy. Big surprise, huh? But I will also say I wouldn’t trade a second of it for a billion dollars. I used to say a million dollars, but what with inflation and all.

Can I tell you about our big fight? Doesn’t every couple have at least one of those? Well, here’s ours, laid bare Continue reading

DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO TELL? by Lettice Randall

It seems everyone has secrets in their life. There are secrets that we wouldn’t dream of revealing to another soul. Then there are secrets we may share with a few select people. And then there are those secrets we might tell nearly everyone we know, save one or two particular people. My secret belongs in this last category. Continue reading

THE BLIZZARD OF 2013 by Lettice Randall

The snow had just begun to fall
This is New England after all
We Northerners are a sturdy lot
Afraid of snow storms we are not.
 
At least that’s what I used to feel
But media hype has become unreal
Stay off the roads we’re being told
We Yankees used to be so bold.
 
What happened to our braver days
Now we’re told to change our ways.
A little snow shouldn’t bother us.
We need to know, why all the fuss?
 
So here I sit and contemplate
Should I go out or should I wait.
Tomorrow is another day.
So I’ll stay in. What can I say?
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.
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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND DON’T DRINK THE WATER! by Lettice Randall

Dec.19,2011

Dear Friends,

Well, it’s newsletter time again. So here’s our Christmas newsletter so all of you can see what we been up to for the past year.

We ain’t had too bad of a year, considering. It started off a little scary when our septic tank started leaking and formed a pond in the middle of our lawn. But we decided not to get too upset and to look on the bright side and that’s when things really started looking up. Our bad luck came to an end when little Jimmy discovered a new use for that pond, Continue reading

THRIFT SHOP BLUES By Lettice Randall

I was in the local thrift shop
Looking for something to buy
As I checked out the merchandise
A few things caught my eye.

Now that sweater is really pretty
And the color is awfully nice
But the label is reading extra-large
That thing will fit me twice!

So moving right along I go
These slacks are sure to please
Were these slacks made for munchkins?
They stop below my knees!

Then I thought I’d buy a T-shirt.
But from buying I had to refrain
Because I saw the awful truth
It had a big coffee stain!

This jacket would just be perfect
And the style is really smokin’
But this jacket will never keep me warm
For sadly the zipper is broken.

I guess I’ll check the shoes out
This pair looks really sweet
Could my eyes be playing tricks on me?
This pair has 2 left feet!!

Just then I spotted a little dress
And it wouldn’t cost much dough
But I think that dress had been in style
At least forty years ago!!

Well, my trip to Sallie’s was a bust
So it is with my greatest sorrow
That I am walking out the door
But I’ll be back tomorrow.

My Bucket List by Lettice Randall

Before I kick the bucket
I need to make a list  
Reminding me of all the things 
I’m really sad I missed. 
Maybe I’ll be able
To get a few things done 
Things that I missed out on 
While having other fun.

I’d really like to travel
And finish my degree  
There’s 2 things added to the list  
Now I’ll think up number 3

I suppose I could be nicer
To everyone I know
Well, that probably won’t happen
So to # 4 we’ll go

I could give money to the poor
I’ll check my purse to see
Well, that idea’s a total bust!
They’ll need to give to me!

Next on the list is # 5
So what’s that going to be?
Maybe I’ll don a scuba suit
And go diving in the sea.

Or maybe I could stow away
On a rocket ship to Mars
That might be a lot of fun
I’ll ride among the stars.

So who do I think I’m kidding.
My bucket list is shot.
I did all the things I wanted to
And a few that I did not

So I guess I just won’t worry
I won’t think about that list
And when I kick that bucket
It won’t matter what I missed

LOUD MUSIC – RINGING PHONE by Lettice Randall

“Turn down that music!” That was the battle cry of my mother when she deemed my music loud enough to wake the dead. It was early 1964. I was 17 and at the age where I could spend hours in my bedroom, just listening to my favorite rock groups. Mom’s musical preference ran in the direction of Nat King Cole or maybe some of that music from the Big Band era. Dad was more into Irish drinking songs!  But they both listened to Classical music on occasion and while it wasn’t my cup of tea, I learned to distinguish Beethoven from Tchaikovsky which totally impressed my music appreciation teacher in high school. I made it quite clear to him, however, that my preference leaned toward rock music and more specifically the Beatles, or the Rolling Stones or other groups associated with the recent English invasion. He told me that they would just be “flashes in the pan.” Here today, gone tomorrow. He said he would give the Beatles three months and then he figured we’d forget all about them. Huh! A lot he knew! As I recall, I made a bet with him that they’d be around “forever and a day.” I shouldn’t have made it quite so open ended because, even tho’ I think he lost that bet, he never paid up. Where is that guy anyway? He owes me big time. Continue reading